Local man Johan Miller has always wanted a good quality inground pool, which he feels will be especially refreshing during the hot summer months. “But I wasn’t going to pay Home Depot prices,” said ...

Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into a single ...

Area man Johan Dyck ran out of space on his census form this week after being asked to list all 31 children. “I got Mary, Isaac, Peter, Susie, Abe, David, Heinrich ...

Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, stroking Daisy’s mane.

It’s that time of year again. Construction crews are out in earnest this week trying to keep up with the demand for new 2025 potholes. “It’s a lot of work,” said veteran road worker Andy Kehler. “But ...

Oba, it’s that time of year again, the Onkel Oscar awards yet. This year there were many Mannanite movies. Good thing we can stream them so no one can spot us in line at the Keystone Cinema yet.

Just minutes after Team USA goaltender Connor Hellebuyck single-handedly won an Olympic gold for his team, he sent a message to reassure Winnipeg Jets fans he won’t ever play that well again.

The Rempels of Abbotsford plant to celebrate Valentine’s Day in style this weekend by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Ricky’s. “Oba, I guess no Brekkie-bowl for me,” said Mrs. Rempel, ...

The Canadian Olympic committee just announced that the entire team, in every sport, would be made up of Friesens and Froeses. “What can I say?” said bobsledder Peter Froese. “With a name like that, we ...

Despite a more than $75 million bribe paid to the local farm implements dealership to host the film, the new documentary about my Taunte Lina has proven to be a huge flop. “We thought for sure we ...

After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite milk maid. “The ...

Residents of the Greater Toronto Area are bracing themselves for what meteorologists are calling the “largest accumulation of snow since Rob Ford was around.” “Oh, geez, that’s a lot of snow,” said ...